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Gaming Reviews

The Ozzman Playeth

Osbourne discovers Guitar Hero: World Tour

Dec 10, 2008

Sitting underneath a chandelier with its light bulbs screwed into metal bats, Ozzy Osbourne ”“ the self-proclaimed ”˜Prince of Fuckin’ Darkness’ ”“ explains how he became a character in Guitar Hero: World Tour. “They wanted somebody people could relate to,” says the man who once snorted a line of ants just to see what would happen. To say that Osbourne is an unlikely video-game star would be an understatement. He admits he doesn’t play at all, although he fondly remembers Pong, Pac-Man and Tetris ”“ or, as he calls it, “The one my wife used to play in bed all the fucking time with the bricks.” And some fans may object that Osbourne is not actually a guitarist ”“ but that’s what makes him the ideal representative for a game where no one actually plays guitar. As if to illustrate this point, Osbourne declines to participate when a demo crew from Activision, Guitar Hero’s parent company, sets up the equipment in his home office in Los Angeles to let him preview the game for the first time. Instead, three Activision employees play drums, guitar and bass, leading Osbourne’s electronic doppelganger through his hit ”˜Crazy Train.’

Along with ”˜Crazy Train’ and ”˜Mr. Crowley,’ World Tour offers 84 non-Osbourne songs, from the Eagles’ ”˜Hotel California’ to No Doubt’s ”˜Spiderwebs,’ as well as the opportunity to record original material with the toy instruments. And while other famous avatars ”“ Sting, Jimi Hendrix, Billy Corgan, Ted Nugent, Hayley Williams of Paramore ”“ make appearances in the game, there’s something particularly uncanny about Osbourne’s alter ego: He looks almost ”“ but not quite ”“ alive. Just like his real-world counterpart.

He even sports the same round glasses, though his real-life tattoos are covered up by a knee-length black coat. Does Osbourne actually own a coat like that? “Racks of them,” he says with a laugh. Osbourne’s long-time band mate Zakk Wylde appears as an extremely hirsute avatar on guitar, and a skinny rocker girl plays bass. Meanwhile, Osbourne’s alter ego yowls into the camera, his jaw flapping in a way that just looks wrong. “Look! I’m singing with a fucking gum shield in!” the flesh-and-blood Osbourne shouts gleefully, using the British term for a mouth guard. It’s true: At times, he appears to be missing his teeth.

Still, when the Ozzy avatar grabs the microphone stand and leans in for the chorus, its movement feels lifelike. That’s because Osbourne allowed the game’s creators to apply motion-sensor technology to him. “I had, like, a suit with all these balls on it,” he says. “It was like I was lip-syncing to one of my live albums ”“ a bit of a laugh!”

There’s a certain playful irony behind the idea that Osbourne belongs in a role-playing video game: He’s still the rock star fans want to be, but with the toll that crazy living has taken on his mind over the years, he’s also the rock star fans want to be temporarily. And yet Ozzy doesn’t waste time over-thinking things. He just relishes the idea that gamers from around the world ”“ “Some kid in China!” he marvels ”“ can join his backing band for generations to come, helping to maintain his legend long after he’s stopped playing shows. “The thing about video games is you never get old,” he concludes. “It’s quite flattering. Except for that gum shield.”

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