Akshay Nandakumar Addresses Mental Health with New Song ‘Chhoti Si Baat’

With two EPs under his belt and a repertoire that has seen him release music in both English and Hindi, Bengaluru-based musician and designer Akshay Nandakumar has now kicked off 2023 with a melancholic pop-driven single called “Chhoti Si Baat.” In this interview with Rolling Stone India, Nandakumar opens up about the heartfelt lyrics he penned for the track, the mental health issues artists face, and more. Read excerpts below: 

What was it that laid the foundation for “Chhoti Si Baat”? 

I started writing ‘Chhoti Si Baat’ when I finished graduating from design school. Surrounded by creative people, many of whom didn’t fit into any mainstream course of study, you got to collaborate and meet many interesting people. But I think creative people are more prone to mental health issues as well, since creating art requires you to face your own demons. Making a career in the art space itself can take a toll. I saw two of my close friends deal with serious depression. And as a friend, I felt helpless. But sometimes being there for them was enough.  

What was the writing process like? 

I started writing the song with the words, ‘Chhoti si baat hai ye, band chhupa nishaan hai ye,’ thinking about my own body image issues, constantly feeling like, ‘I’m not enough.’ I’ve often relied on a song to hopelessly cry or lift my mood. The idea that another artist out there has written words that I relate to so much, is oddly comforting. I feel as though this song can have a similar effect on those who have faced mental health issues.  

I spent a long time trying to find the right arrangement for this song. I thought a simple acoustic guitar and vocal performance could be very powerful. But for some reason, it didn’t work. I thought about anxiety and how sometimes it can make you hyper-aware of your own heartbeat. This kind of lends into this song gradually, going into a pulse-like beat in the second verse. While watching movies, I can’t help but notice the sound design and scores; how the music in a scene is the main driver of the emotion rather than the dialogue itself. I then got the thought of just having spoken dialogue in the middle of the song as a way to give the listener a break in between the two verses. Special mention to Vipin Sharma, who’s been mixing my music since 2014. He sent a mix back in September that totally changed the feel of the song for the better. I would never have pictured the 80s style beat on it. But suddenly I was getting a Stranger Things vibe and I liked it.  

I spent a lot of time thinking of times when people would be shocked when a friend had passed away due to suicide. They’d always say, ‘They seemed so happy and were always laughing and joking around.’ That’s when I wrote the lines, ‘Mere aawaaz ko pehchaan lo, mere khamoshi ko sun kar to dekho.’ And now that is my favorite line in the song and what I most look forward to singing live.  

What’s next for you? 

After I finish releasing a series of Hindi singles, I want to work on an eight-song album for which I have recorded demos already. I like the recording process while working on singles. It allows me to make each song with a lot of care. Streamlining that process so that I can do the same for eight songs is going to be an exciting challenge. As much as I like releasing music, a live performance has that intangible quality that people like about my songs. For example, people who really like my songs always request my song ‘Bas Ek Khwaab’ even though it doesn’t get many streams online. Some of my songs are best heard in person, in a more intimate setting. I always dreamt of a few small intimate gigs to launch my album. That would definitely be amazing if I can pull it off. 

Watch the music video for “Chhoti Si Baat” below: