The 10 Worst International Songs Of 2022

We heard a lot of crap this year, so it was extremely challenging to narrow down the worst songs Of 2022 to just 10. But we decided to list songs that you probably heard, and artists you probably know because well, they should all know better!

“ABCDEFU” – Gayle

I can’t even begin to fathom the ridiculousness that is this insipidly stupid song by Gayle, but half a billion streams and a Grammy nod for Song Of The Year later, maybe I’m the one who’s stupid? “ABCDEFU” truly speaks to the power of social media. Built around saying the alphabet and then adding an “FU,” the song is as dumb and unoriginal as it gets and yet folks found this often-used phrase clever, including the Recording Academy that isn’t even celebrating the young artist who missed out on a Best New Artist nod, but is rewarding the song for its lyrics. It truly doesn’t get more embarrassing than this.

“Staying Alive” – DJ Khaled, Drake, Lil Baby

This moronic collab between DJ Khaled, Drake and Lil Baby is also right up there with the worst. “We The Best” this is not. Drake sounds bored AF. Lil Baby is just looking at the track as a cash grab and as for DJ Khaled, well, the less said the better. “Staying Alive” is built around the iconic disco hit “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. That classic really didn’t deserve to be butchered in the way that this track does. I get that these are easy hits for the artists involved but come on, there are literally thousands of great songs you can sample and butcher. Why mess up the Gibb brothers!

“Super Freaky Girl” – Nicky Minaj

Ditto the sentiment for Nicky Minaj and this lame comeback single. “Super Freaky Girl,” built around Rick James’ “Superfreak,” is just boring and even if Minaj’s flows work, the song is just bad. She tried to recreate the same magic she had generated with her “Anaconda” single that sampled Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” but I wasn’t even a fan of that. I get that there are a number of female MC’s now in the game and Minaj wanted to remind them (and us) of her commercial prowess – but this song is as unmemorable as it gets. Minaj is one of the best and this single was simply beneath her, big time.

“Hold My Hand” – Lady Gaga

“Hold My Hand” by Lady Gaga attempts to be the modern equivalent of “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin – the ballad that speared the original “Top Gun.” But Gaga, you are no Berlin. While that song became an iconic love song of the 1980s, this single stalled on the charts and frankly it shouldn’t have even charted. The song is boring, uninspired and Gaga sounds so overdramatic that she doesn’t match the mood of the new “Top Gun: Maverick” film.

It’s no surprise that OneRepublic’s “I Ain’t Worried” became the bigger hit, it’s the far better song (even ranking our list of this year’s Top 100 international tracks). Gaga will likely get an Oscar nod for this sleepfest because, well, she’s Gaga. But this is just plain blah.

“High” – The Chainsmokers

Speaking of blah, many have criticized The Chainsmokers over the years as being just that. I’ve actually never really felt that strongly about them and have even praised them for certain singles (in fact their track “Side Effects” with Emily Warren ranked in my year-end Top 50). But there is just no redeeming for the duo here as “High” is absolute sonic torture. Drew Taggart’s vocals are so terrible, you wonder what exec okayed this. Ironically, a leaked version of the single released the year before with The Kid Laroi and I gotta tell you, he sounds a tad better, though he was smart to not release the track. The Chainsmokers are slated to be the first act to perform in space. Here’s hoping they don’t perform this drivel or else folks will want them to remain up there.

“Jiggle Jiggle” – Jason Derulo x Duke & Jones x Louis Theroux x Amelia Diaz

Only Jason Derulo has the ability to take a novelty hit from TikTok and try to mainstream (aka milk a cash cow) into such utter garbage that you put a full stop right there and never chuckle again at the original viral hit. “Jiggle Jiggle” was probably one of the most enjoyable viral hits this year thanks to Duke & Jones who added a beat to the Louis Theroux and Amelia Diaz conversation. But Derulo coming in and Jason Derulo-ing it just kills anything that made it a hit. The man is honestly tarnishing his own musical history. From “Savage Love” to “Jalebi Baby” to now this, is he this unable to just record his own stuff? He built his career on acquiring clever samples that often got overlooked. Now, he just looks like he’s the last to the party.

“Stay With Me” – Calvin Harris, Justin Timberlake, Halsey, Pharrell Williams

How does a superstar DJ, two huge artists and one of the greatest producers and occasional artists manage to create this hot mess and try to pass it off as their “jam”? “Stay With Me” from Calvin Harris featuring Justin Timberlake, Halsey and Pharrell Williams just lacks anything memorable. Even the music video feels like no one had energy that day when filming. Harris has been one of my favorites for more than a decade now but I think it’s time he retires the “Funk Wave Bounces” era because these disco-laced albums and singles are just so basic and he’s got far more creativity than this.

“Don’t You Worry” – Black Eyed Peas, Shakira, David Guetta

Of course, the problem with most aging artists is that when a formula works once, they try to repeat it again and again. David Guetta has been doing that for years and it’s likewise with Black Eyed Peas. Shakira meanwhile is simply far better in her native Spanish than in English and as she gets older, that’s becoming more and more the case. In their second collab in recent times, Black Eyed Peas and Shakira come together for the 2022 version of “I Gotta Feeling,” something no one on the planet wanted, asked for or frankly needed. While the original has become a modern classic, this song is so derivative of that hit that you wonder, do they really think people won’t realize it’s basically the same song? With lyrics that literally a third-grader could write, the song is elementary school basic and it’s really a shame that there is a listening audience that still eats this up.

“Doja” – Central Cee

When a song starts with “How can I be homophobic? My bitch is gay” you kinda know what you’re in for. While the track strangely manages to avoid being completely offensive thanks to the sorta homoerotic picture the English rapper creates about gang culture, it is still pretty terrible. Almost completely dependent upon the sample “Let Me Blow Ya Mind” by Gwen Stefani featuring Eve, the new song just lacks any real sense and rides more on nostalgia for the older track than on anything lyrical or Cee’s rhymes. And by the way, the mentioning of female artists seems to be a thing this year with this being called “Doja” and Jack Harlow’s “Dua Lipa” (which almost made this list too!) – they need to stop because these aren’t flattering, they’re just dumb. 

“Hold Me Closer” – Elton John, Britney Spears

Speaking of Dua Lipa, last year she and Elton John created a little magic thanks to PNAU who helped turn four of John’s singles into the wonderfully entertaining “Cold Heart (PNAU Remix).” This year, post Britney Spear’s freedom from her conservatorship, John reached out to Britney and he tried to recreate that same magic with “Hold Me Closer” that combines elements of “Tiny Dancer,” “The One” and “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” The result is embarrassing. Spears sounds awful and the classic that is “Tiny Dancer” gets decimated into a completely pointless and horrid “comeback.” John needs to take a page out of the book of his nemesis Madonna about this. Madonna has smartly given the ranks of her discography to younger, up-and-coming artists. They may find her to be the weird granny but they are bopping to her singles and she’s managed to stay relevant thanks to new mixes of tracks like “Frozen” and “Hung Up.” Britney may garner interest, but unlike Dua Lipa, she too is so yesterday.