Ozzy Osbourne

Gilbert Carrasquillo/Filmmagic

In his hilarious new memoir, I Am Ozzy, the Prince of Darkness reveals the full extent of his depraved life in rock & roll ”“ and why the 2000s were the worst decade of his life despite the success of his reality show.

Writing the book, were there things you couldn’t remember?

I can remember the early Seventies, but I can’t remember what I did two days ago. People always ask me if I snorted a line of ants. I can’t remember whether I did or not, but it’s quite possible.

I loved reading about your encounter with Betty Ford.

Sharon said, “I’ve found this place called the Betty Ford Center where they teach you to drink like a gentleman.” I’m thinking, “Well, that’s it, that’s always been my problem ”“ I’ve been doing it wrong.” When I got there, I asked Betty Ford where the bar was, and her fucking face went white.

Will Black Sabbath tour again?

I don’t know. I had girlfriends when I was younger, and I would always go, “Oh, I would like to go back with Shirley.” As soon as I did, I was like, “What the fuck was I thinking?” It’s the same with Sabbath.

Do you miss the TV cameras?

The reality thing was an experiment that went fucking crazier than anyone expected it to. It dawned on me how much it must have fucked my kids up. Jack ended up in rehab, Kelly ended up in rehab, I ended up in rehab.

Are you amazed you’re still alive?

Oh, absolutely! Years ago, a doctor told me I was going to be dead before the end of the year. Keith Richards has a few more lives on me, though. I don’t understand why his body hasn’t just fucking stopped yet.