Queens’ Tragic Rhapsody

“There was a lot of joy, strangely enough,” says May. “Freddie was in pain . . . but in­side the studio there was a sort of blan­ket around, and he could be happy and enjoy what he liked doing best. . . . Some­times it would only last a couple of hours a day because he would get very tired. But during that couple of hours, boy, would he give a lot. When he couldn’t stand up, he used to prop himself up against a desk and down a vodka: ”˜I’ll sing it till I fucking bleed.’ ”

After Innuendo, Mercury again wanted to keep on recording ”“ and complete anoth­er album if possible. “Freddie said, ”˜Write me stuff. . . . Keep giving me words. I will sing,” remembers May. (The results were released in 1995 on Made in Heaven.) “He carried on because that’s what he enjoyed,” Austin said. “And working helped him to have the cour­age to face his illness.” Jim Hutton, Mercury’s long-term lover who lived with him until the end, concurred: “If he didn’t have the music, he wouldn’t have lasted.”

In september 1991, Freddie Mercury had recorded as much as he was ever going to, and he retired to his Kensington home. He remained wary with his parents, wrote Peter Freestone in Freddie Mercury: An Intimate Memoir, “as he wanted to pro­tect them from things they would neither understand or would not accept.” Years later, his mother, Jer, said, “He didn’t want to hurt us, but we knew it all along.”

Mercury turned away most visitors; he didn’t want to be seen as his body de­generated. He stopped taking medi­cations, and had bouts of blindness. He nevertheless insisted on denying any re­ports that he had AIDS until the eve­ning of November 23rd, 1991, when he issued a statement admitting his con­dition: “Following enormous conjecture in the press, I wish to confirm that I have been tested HIV-positive and have AIDS. I felt it correct to keep this information private in order to protect the privacy of those around me. However, the time has now come for my friends and fans around the world to know the truth, and I hope everyone will join with me, my doctors and all those worldwide in the fight against this terri­ble disease.” Those attending to him said he seemed more restful after that. Early the next evening, Freestone and Hutton were preparing to change the singer’s bed­clothing when Hutton saw he was no longer breathing. “He’s gone,” Hutton told Free­stone. Freddie Mercury was 45 years old. Freestone called Taylor, who was on his way to visit Mercury, and told him, “Don’t bother coming.”

Mercury’s funeral took place a few days later, in a Zoroastrian ceremony. Aretha Franklin sang, and soprano Mont­serrat Caballé performed a Verdi aria. (Caballé worked with Mercury on a semi-operatic album, Barcelona.) Mercury’s body was cremated, and Mary Austin ”“ the only person Mercury said he truly trusted, and to whom he left his home ”“ placed his ashes in a location she has never disclosed.

The following April, the surviving mem­bers of Queen played a tribute to their late singer at Wembley Stadium, and used the event to launch the Mercury Phoenix Trust, which continues to raise money for vari­ous AIDS organizations. After the show, the group disbanded for 13 years. Deacon retired altogether, except for the sessions that completed 1995’s Made in Heaven, the quartet’s final studio album, which includ­ed the recordings Mercury had worked on in his last year. They were all songs about the splendor of love and impermanence.

“I have never got over his death,” Tay­lor later said. “None of us have. I think that we all thought that we could come to terms with it quite quickly, but we underestimat­ed the impact his death had on our lives. I still find it difficult to talk about. For those of us left, it is as though Queen was anoth­er lifetime entirely.”