Bollywood has given us some melodious hits this year but it sure knew how to pile up the sonic ‘kachra’ too
Original Bollywood soundtracks have seemingly become nonexistent these days and instead we have remakes, remakes and more remakes. And then of course we have songs “inspired” by the south that try to get us moving but more often than not just make us cringe.
They may rake in the views (paid or otherwise) but when we look back at this year, there’s no doubt – some of these hit songs will go down as the worst Hindi film tracks of 2022.
There’s nothing worse than a big film trying to shove a “hit song” down our throats regardless of how stupid the song and the corresponding dance may be. Dharma Productions didn’t need to be so blatant and aggressive with the marketing of the “The Punjaaban Song.” It’s an okay remake of Abrar Ul Haq’s “Nach Punjaban” song but despite being in the hands of remix king Tanishk Bagchi, the song performed by Gippy Grewal, Zahrah S Khan, Romy and Bagchi himself is just a hot mess. Even with the energetic dancing of the main cast of the film, the song just lacks anything special and frankly, I’m not the only person just sick and tired of every Punjabi song getting redone for basically part of the same audience that listens and knows the original. Gimmicky!
I guess I should credit Vishal and Shekhar for composing an original track, but seriously, “Alchoholia” is atrocious. Sung annoyingly by Vishal, Shekhar, Snigdhajit Bhowmik and Ananya Chakraborty with cringe-worthy lyrics by Manoj Muntashir, you wonder who exactly greenlit this? To make matters worse, this Vikram Vedha number was promoted as the “dancing number of the year.” Hrithik Roshan looks psychotic more than intoxicated and if that’s the point, this is not a song that should be celebrated. I hate how films are given a pass for the cultural impact of the shit they put on screen and convince us is art, especially when this “massy” number was literally put in the film to generate views and show off Roshan’s dancing skills and nothing more. Couldn’t get much drunk enough to ever like this song… ever.
Arijit Singh is extremely talented. But lately, his talent is being wasted recording song after song where his range rarely gets utilized, and the lyrics to his songs feel like they’ve not been penned by lyricists but rather from an assembly line of what makes for a perfect “Arijit Singh” song. Here, Kumaar gives us some of the worst clichés imaginable with “Heer Raanjhana”. Composed by Amaal Mallik, this song really should have been sung by him because perhaps there would have been far less of that heard-this-before quality to it. I’m guessing Mallik didn’t sing the track because the song from Bachchhan Pandey features Akshay Kumar and Mallik’s voice would likely not match Kumar’s maturity (despite the fact he’s seen in the video romancing the much younger Jacqueline Fernandez). Boring, plain and simple.
“Dance Ka Bhoot” might be an introductory song for Ranbir Kapoor’s character in Brahmastra but the song guaranteed to make you “jhoom” honestly makes you want to jump out of your seat to get refreshments if you saw this film in the theatres, or jump-skip ahead if watching at home. Songs like this are just unnecessary in 2022. Maybe since the film took so long to make it was still okay back then when… Regardless, composer Pritam, lyricist Amitabh Bhattacharya and singer Arijit Singh are at their normal best. This is not spectacular by any means and the song suffers even more by the fact that Kapoor’s DJ Shiva character in the film looks and dances like every other character Kapoor has played since Bachna Ae Haseeno. Fast forward.
What’s the best way to guarantee audiences will return for a part-two film where the first film had immense popularity? Repeat the songs! And more than that, compose them in such a way that it sounds almost exactly the same but all the changes are weird, unnecessary and kind of destroy the beauty of the original. Such was the case this year with “Galliyan Returns” from Ek Villain Returns. While Ankit Tiwari sings and composes the sequel song, he just seems super uninterested here. DJ Phukan is credited as music arranger, programmer and producer. While I’m not sure how much creative control the DJ had over Tiwari – the result is just loud and obnoxious. You just wish they’d have just played the original. I had flashbacks of all those moronic Dhoom films and their moronic “Dhoom Machale” updates with each film. The original worked, stop trying to repeat the same song. Learn from James Bond and keep the melody or the instrumentation style and create something original instead of these dumb remixes.
Some songs are so annoying, you wonder, really? “Ji Huzoor” is the second Ranbir Kapoor song from his other film this year, Shamshera. Composed and with lyrics by Mithoon, the song isn’t as bad as “Dance Ka Bhoot” but it is probably even more annoying because the picturization is just so run-of-the-mill standard Ranbir Kapoor-starrer. Everything about the song sung by Aditya Narayan feels ordinary as a result. Don’t get me wrong, the song is nothing to write home about but it’s like when Kapoor dances to the track, any sense of edge the song might have had goes away and we just see another number, regardless of time frame, era or background situation, looking the same and by default, sounding the same too.
I’m sorry but seriously, I was almost in complete denial when I saw that “Miss Hairan” was composed, arranged and produced by A.R. Rahman! Sung by Tiger Shroff and Nisa Shetty for Heropanti 2, I was just left wondering, why oh why, sir! Mind you, every great musician creates some duds along the line but this is just embarrassing. I tried very hard to find some saving grace for the track, but I just couldn’t.
So “Firecracker” is probably the strongest song of the lot here (that’s not saying much) but what goes against the song isn’t that it’s sonically the worst song, but it just makes no sense whatsoever in the context of the film. Composed by Vishal and Shekhar and also sung by the duo, the song feels like it was lifted from another movie from another world and placed randomly into Jayeshbhai Jordaar. I’m wondering if this was just some music bank song that got put into the film. With lyrics by Kumaar and Vayu, the song still makes me scratch my head as to how a film that went to great lengths to showcase a Gujarati family with authenticity would just throw in a random Bollywood track with nothing matching it!
I guess I should be happy that Tanishk Bagchi did not recreate this Himesh Reshammiya song. The remake credits go to Javed-Mohsin. Sung by the two alongside Dev Negi, Payal Dev and Deane Sequeira, the song is sort of surprisingly faithful to the original from Kyaa Dil Ne Kahaa. Here the song’s title also serves as the movie title and while I’m sure there are many that were happy to hear a 2022 update of this Tusshar Kapoor and Esha Deol classic, I’m in the camp that this song was totally bakwaas 20 years ago and ditto now.
Most of these songs need at least an explanation for why they suck. One song doesn’t even need that, and that’s “Akdi Pakdi” from Liger. Enough said.
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