The Rodeo: AI Rivalry, Epstein Files, and Musical Roads

As eventful as the Year of the Horse is turning out to be, so is our current timeline (and not exactly for all the right reasons). Decades’ worth of conspiracies that lay gathering dust resurfaced after the U.S. government revealed millions of pages of previously sealed Jeffrey Epstein-related documents. Even as the story was about serious allegations of exploitation and abuse that demand accountability, it quickly sparked a flurry of conspiracy theories, redacted file remixes and AI slop. In the process, it revealed another uncomfortable truth: how in a post-ironic attention economy, even the gravest concerns can get swept into the meme cycle.

Elsewhere on the internet, Margot Robbie also transformed into Geet from Jab We Met in a behind-the-scenes video from the sets of Wuthering Heights. To be fair, she would probably try to fix things between Heathcliff and Catherine. Speaking of fixing things, officials in Mumbai came up with the most unique solution to speeding on the coastal road: a musical incentive. Over the 500M stretch from Nariman Point to Worli, drivers and motorists can now hear the faint blaring of “Jai Ho” by A.R Rahman if they drive at a specific speed range. Rush hour just got patriotic. 

Nevertheless, we all began identifying as spiritually Latino after watching Bad Bunny’s Super bowl performance. Any LinkedIn leads on how to bag the bush role as a full-time job? Would be highly appreciated. 

In the spirit of celebrating the internet’s unfailing unhingedness, saddle up, as we chronicle them in this month’s Rodeo.

Graduated from Galgotias University of Gaslighting

Equivalent to your friend copying your project down to the last detail, Galgotias University did a number at the India AI Impact Summit 2026 expo, proudly proclaiming the famous Unitree Go2, a quadruped robot developed by a Chinese robotics company, to be their own esteemed invention. The mastermind behind this spectacle? Dr. Neha Singh, a communications professor from the institution. She even re-christened the robot “Orion,” stating that it was developed in the university’s “centre of excellence.” When prodded regarding the blatant misinformation, Singh responded with her magnum opus: “Your six can be my nine,” taking ownership for the lack of clarity from her end. She was basically setting us all up for a 6 7 joke, wasn’t she?

Heated Rivalry, AI CEOs Version

When we say we have Heated Rivalry at home, this is definitely not what we meant. Playing out like an episode of The Office, CEOs Sam Altman (OpenAI) and Dario Amodei (Anthrophic) raised fists instead of holding hands during a group pic moment at the India AI Impact Summit. This led to social media users drawing hilarious comparisons between the photo and the iconic meme from Ellam Avan Seyal, a Tamil film.

People Are Ready to Throw Hands for Punch The Monkey

Move over nihilist penguin, the internet has a new animal to crash out over. Enter Punch, or “Punch-Kun,” a baby Macaque who was abandoned at birth and raised by zookeepers at Ishikawa Zoo, Japan. Keeping the six-month-old Punch company were not other primates, but an Orangutan plush toy, or “Ora-mama,” that became his constant source of warmth and maternal affection. As the zoo started posting daily updates on social media, audiences immediately resonated with the tiny monkey, who tightly clung to the toy while struggling with isolation, anxiety, nervousness and the challenges of adjusting to new enclosures with other primates. #HangInTherePunch has now emerged as a viral hashtag on X, displaying heartwarming images that celebrate the young Macaque’s resilience as he continues to cling onto “Ora-Mama” through the waves of emotional turbulence. The zoo even had to release an official statement confirming Punch’s well-being after a few videos of him being rejected by other macaques garnered worldwide concern.

Apparently, Burnout Makes You Gay Now?

Yeah, you read that right. In a written parliamentary reply, Dr. Zulkifli Hassan, a Malaysian minister of religious affairs, claimed that stress from work is apparently making people “resort” to LGBTQIA+ activities. He even went so far as to suggest that corporate burnout is making people stray further away from religious practices, leading them to “become LGBT.” Human rights groups, such as Justice for Sisters, flagged the comments as misleading and harmful.

Emmanuel Macron’s Desi Girl Arc

In a classic “go white boy go” moment, French president Emmanuel Macron dropped a montage summarizing his recent trip to India with the title track of Dhurandar as the background score. Maybe White people have found their replacement for the age-old “Tunak Tunak.”

Male Baldness Epidemic Catches onto Woody from Toy Story

We’re going to hold your hand while we say this, but even your favorite animated character has male pattern balding. When the trailer for Toy Story 5 dropped, fans could not help but chuckle along as Woody, the main character, lifted his hat to reveal a fading bald patch. The 1995 classic, which is currently running its fifth instalment, had users reminiscing about how the character is aging with them.