Why Do We Often Praise K-Dramas with Toxic Relationships?

Toxic relationships are like murky waters; they are dreary, dark, and debilitating but also enticing. They may tempt you to indulge in a deep dive that would sink you into the darkest recesses, yet you choose to accept the risk, be carried away, and keep going. As much as it is true for those who are in such relationships, K-dramas are a prime example of popular media that is rife with depictions of comparable occurrences.

In these dramas, often toxic relationships are essentially seen as excellent storylines. Come to think of it, they are, given that we have repeatedly fallen in love with them notwithstanding their glorification of something obnoxious. Perhaps most of us, while watching them, often let go of the unpleasant by merely cheering for such a relationship’s eventual reconciliation. Why, though? Why are we so smitten with them? Why do we have a penchant for praising K-dramas with toxic relationships? Let me try to explain some of my theories based on the following three iconic K-dramas.

Full House (2004)

Lee Young-Jae (Jung Ji-hoon, aka Rain), a snooty movie star, despises struggling writer Han Ji-eun (Song Hye-kyo), but fate pulls them together, reshuffles the cards, and compels them to act as pieces. Their lives spiral out of control after being pushed into living together under duress (a contract marriage). Lee forms their formal alliance on a whim to upset his crush, but his decision soon lands him in hot water.

He has no idea exactly how hard it would be to end the marriage, like Han, who doesn’t know she’ll fall for him. Although their equations and eccentricities appear funny at first, theirs is a dysfunctional relationship that hurts both. It gets a bit too much to deal with as they keep treating one another with contempt, yet, until the very end, they are bound together by deep-seated, unexpressed emotions. And it’s this that keeps me most engaged in their story.

Lee feels compelled to take care of Han, even though he loathes her. Is it merely an act of kindness? That maintains my curiosity. Tension increases as they adjust to marriage, and Han’s affection for him comes to the fore. Her discomfort, bitterness, and hopelessness are potent emotional triggers. We observe her juggling her professional commitments while waiting for Lee each day, making his meals, and taking care of him and the home while frequently being mocked and belittled by the man, just like many of us who experience identical situations. This relatability aspect, in my mind, helps to explain why we are drawn to stories about toxic relationships.

In the epilogue, when the couple makes up and is no longer afraid to confess their feelings, it renews our faith that a difficult relationship can develop into profound love. Therefore, it’s comforting to see Lee and Han emerge victorious, serving as catharsis for the viewers.

Boys Over Flowers (2009)

If emotional instability manifests itself in childhood as a result of parental estrangement or egocentric conflicts with a loved one, toxic relationships may arise. Essentially, narcissists are prone to hostile responses. In their circumstances, anger against the other person may be the only emotion felt until love takes hold. In Boys Over Flowers, pompous rich brat Gu Jun-pyo (Lee Min-ho) detests yet pines for commoner Geum Jan-di (Koo Hye-sun) precisely because of that. He is a wayward teen—an outcome of his challenging surroundings and loneliness. So, when Jan-di rejects his bullying, ignoring his celebrity, his bruised ego gravitates towards her more, and resentment blossoms into romance. We still enjoy the nuances of their relationship, no matter the complexities it brings.

Many of you could counter that Jun-pyo is a complete jerk and that nothing makes up for the harm he inflicts on Jan-di. Both before and after she begins to like him, their connection is toxic. His manipulative mother’s schemes continue to plague the girl and her family while the two are in love, to the point that Jun-pyo decides to ignore her, causing more damage. He is a chaotic prince who causes havoc in her life. Even so, their love story is memorable in that they go above and beyond to overcome adversities. That is one of Boys Over Flowers‘ main draws.

Playful Kiss (2010)

Oh Ha-ni (Jung So-min), an academically challenged student, falls hopelessly in love with the most popular guy in school, Baek Seung-jo (Kim Hyun-joong). When she sends him a love note, which he promptly rejects, awkwardness expands. Ha-ni persuades Seung-jo further, but she inevitably grows wary of his rigid, cold demeanor and accepts a marriage proposal. This makes Seung-jo nervous about losing her and prompts him to seek her out. Based on the Japanese manga Itazura Na Kiss, this drama was such a global success that a brief special edition was shown on YouTube following the series finale.

A toxic love story, Playful Kiss, is based on the conflict between the two personality complexes. Seung-jo constantly disparages and treats Ha-ni with disdain, yet she keeps romanticizing him. He perpetuates the stereotype of the conceited, egotistical, bad-tempered man who disregards a girl’s feelings and insults her, both physically and emotionally. At one point, he gives her an almost-forceful kiss and detests her immediately. He periodically humiliates her and teases her, but she continues to love him. Their adept portrayals propelled Kim Hyun-joong and Jung So-min to fame on a global scale, making the drama a hit with viewers.

Attention is also drawn to Ha-ni’s character’s gradual evolution. She may initially come off as weird and weak, but in the end, she proves to be a genuine prospect. Despite Seung-jo’s snobbery and superiority, a diligent and caring Ha-ni proves effective in melting his heart, and what initially appears to be an uphill battle matures into a beautiful union. She progresses in life, therefore personifying the ideal that nobody is undeserving. With passion and persistence, any regular person can shine and become the center of attention—a lesson from the drama, which, in my opinion, also makes the toxic love story look good.